Supported by the Bezos Family Foundation with additional funding from The Eisner Foundation

WHAT TEEN LEADERS WANT – AND DON’T WANT – FROM OLDER ALLIES

Download our Conversation Guide

TEEN LEADERS SPEAK UP

Introduction

Young people are not a monolith. Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012) holds a multitude of experiences – with nuances further defined by the rise of AI, polarization, and the global pandemic. This study anchors our effort to learn more about what younger Gen Zers – today’s teen leaders – want from older allies.

In 2023, a nationally representative survey of people ages 18 to 94, revealed older Gen Zers deep interest in working across generations – and difficulty in acting on that interest.

75.9% of Gen Z – a higher percentage than any other generation – say they wish they had more opportunities to work across generations for change.

But Gen Zers were more likely than any other generation to say they don’t know how to get started, can’t find opportunities to work across generations, and find it difficult to communicate with people of different generations.

Since then, CoGenerate released two qualitative studies, one asking young adults (ages 17-31) what they want from older allies, and the other asking older people (over 50) what they want from younger allies.

Seeking to learn more about what teen leaders want from older allies, this study was created in collaboration with 26 teens across the country (ages 12 to 19), diverse by geography, beliefs and identities. With teens involved in so many aspects of the work, this report itself exists as an example of the power of teens and older allies working together.

With this study, we issue a call to adults and youth-serving organizations to think differently – to move beyond one-way mentorship models and toward genuine, two-way partnerships where teens and older allies work side by side for change.

If you believe, as we do, that intergenerational partnerships can fight loneliness, bridge divides, and solve all kinds of big problems by bringing all kinds of talent to the table, then the time to start is now, with the teens who are ready – and eager – to work across generations for change.

We’re not your children.
Listen. Period.
Don’t invite us for optics.
We’ll match your energy.
We want the power to change things.

Our conversations yielded five key insights, each an appeal from teens to older allies for respect, the chance to be heard, inclusion for the right reasons, authenticity and curiosity, and the power to change things.

1. We’re not your children.

“Adults sometimes only know how to relate to young people through the lens of their own kids, and that can get messy fast.”

— Kayla Pilgrim

Teens may be your children’s age, but they’re not your children. Teens want to be treated as serious contributors. Teens and older allies all have valuable contributions. This is a give-and-give relationship. Cogeneration – aka intergenerational collaboration – should be built on two-way respect and learning that leads to a better end goal.

HOW

As with all good collaborations, lead with empathy and gratitude.
Teens want to be treated with the same respect you would give to colleagues your own age.
Reflect on the role teens have played in your work and how it would’ve been different without teens in the space.
When you’re unsure how to interact with teens, consider how you wished older allies would’ve talked to you when you were a teenager.

“Sometimes, we had our own ideas, and our adult mentor challenged them, but we still knew what we wanted to do. We used our communication skills to find a middle ground. Collaboration isn’t about one person’s side, it’s about finding that middle ground.”

— Emily Gorodetskiy

2. Listen. Period.

“Sometimes adults jump in with advice when all we needed was someone to hear us out.”

— Lucinda Mattingly

The most powerful thing you can do is listen. The most common thing teens told us was that they just want to be heard by older allies who are curious.

HOW

Don’t rush to fill space. Give teens time to share their thoughts.
Ask open-ended questions such as “How do you feel about that?” and “How can I support you?”
Teens value adults’ advice, but they want the chance to ask for it on their own terms. Teens aren’t always looking for mentorship. Resist jumping straight to advice.
When teens ask for advice, coaching or mentorship, explain things without talking down to them. Ask questions that allow teens to find their own answers.
When teens ask, be willing to show them your decision-making processes and playbook — without taking over the game.
If you find yourself talking more than half the time, pause to invite others in.

“Just talk to us. We’re not asking you to fix everything. We’re asking you to care.”

— Petra Stevens

3. Don’t invite us for optics.

“Please don’t invite us for optics. Bring us in to build something real.”

— Molly McAlvanah

Teens know when they’re being used for optics and are unafraid to call that out. Like every other age demographic, teens have different lived experiences. Teens’ unique perspectives deserve to be listened to and taken seriously, without tokenization. Teens want to tackle real, complex situations – not mock trials or theoretical problems. Teens are interested in addressing the defining topics of our time, not just issues that impact young people.

HOW

Don’t ask individual teens to speak on behalf of all teens.
Youth is not the only thing teens bring to the table, so there’s no need to constantly mention it. More often than not, it alienates teens.
Enable young people to participate meaningfully in new ways – as moderators, panelists, organizers, advisors, and board members.
Ask who might be missing from the conversation and encourage teens to design solutions to bring those voices to the table.

“Some people try to group young people into a box and assume we all live the same experiences or have the same approach to technology, but a lot of us don’t.”

— Ethan Flores

4. We’ll match your energy.

“If you come in confident and real, we’ll match that. That’s how you build trust.”

— Kate Schenk

Teens will match the energy that older allies bring. When older allies lead with openness, authenticity and curiosity, teens are likely to follow suit.

Given the power dynamic that often exists, many teens say it’s the older allies’ role to establish the culture for cogenerational collaborations. This means creating opportunities to learn, experiment, make mistakes and fail. Teens also want connections that prioritize emotional safety. But make no mistake: Teens want the opportunity to co-create the culture. Adults can invite them into that conversation.

HOW

Lead with openness, authenticity, and curiosity — your tone sets the tone.
Admit when you don’t have all the answers. Vulnerability builds trust.
Invite teens to help co-create norms and practices that make collaboration feel safe and real.
Celebrate learning and experimentation, not just success.
Model what it looks like to recover from mistakes with humility.

“Just asking me what I care about changed how I see myself.”

— Moneek Pharms

5. We want the power to change things.

“Sometimes we need a translator for how power works.”

— Laura Gomez

Teens understand the value of working across generations: When successful, it centers shared learning and sustains the change we all seek. Many teens want to leverage the talent and experiences of older allies – but often don’t know where to start, lack ways to collaborate, and have limited examples of what building across generations looks like in practice. Older allies can foster meaningful collaboration by inviting teens into real power – sharing decisions, responsibilities and credit. Discomfort is part of the process, but it’s also what leads to authentic connection and lasting change.

HOW

Involve teens at the start, before decisions are already made.
Make room for young people to make decisions, without making it feel like a test.
Respect teens’ expertise by paying them for their ideas, time and labor.
Challenge yourself to drop your stereotypes about teenagers.
Name the awkwardness that may exist, instead of pretending it isn’t there. In fact, leaning into it may be a way for adults to start conversations with teens.

“It takes one match to start cataclysmic change. That’s what a real conversation can do.”

— Elijah Lee

Conclusion

Teens are different today. They need to be treated differently.

Many of yesterday’s teens didn’t expect to have a voice. But today, like all generations, teens have the mic – complete with camera, access to the world’s knowledge, and a global communications platform enabling them to speak to dozens of people they know and millions of people they don’t.

They use that mic, often for good. Take Leena Albinali, who was 14 when she created an intergenerational summer camp taught by grandmothers in Fullerton, California.

Or Molly McAlvanah, who at 16 became a poll worker in Kensington, Maryland and went door-to-door canvassing to support candidates and issues she believed in.

Or Elijah Lee, who became a community activist at 10, leading his first child abuse awareness march in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. Now 17, Elijah has helped draft over 40 pieces of legislation in Virginia designed to support child abuse survivors and empower young people.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to the Bezos Family Foundation and The Eisner Foundation for funding this report.

Thank you to the teens who participated in interviews for this report: Leena Albinali (15), Gabby Alejandra (16), Eleanor Bodden (13), Dylan Colin (13), Danielle Delfino (18), Ethan Flores (17), Laura Gomez (19), Emily Gorodetskiy (16), Chloe Groemling (16), David Guo (17), Anna Keefe (13), Ellis Kopcho (17), Elijah Lee (17), Isleen Lee (16), Lucinda Mattingly (14), Molly McAlvanah (17), Avery McKinnon (12), Moneek Pharms (19), Kayla Pilgrim (19), Kate Schenk (19), Lily Sharma (17), Angel Song (16), Petra Stevens (16), Anani Velasquez (12), Ella Saunders Vinson (13), and Maya Wu (18).

Thank you to the partners and allies who gave input on this report: Alex Edgar and the Youth250 Bureau (Made By Us), Alex Owens (Be Loud), Trish Lopez (Teeniors), Kelly Saunders (StoryMKE), Audra Watson (Institute for Citizens & Scholars), Rene Weiss-Cruz (Heart of Los Angeles), and Rachel Belin (Kentucky Student Voice Team).

_________

Author:
Dillon St. Bernard, 25, is a CoGen Impact Fellow and Chief Creative Officer of Team DSB. Since the age of 13, he has worked to tell stories that elevate the experiences of young and multicultural folks.

Production Company: 
Team DSB

Video Participants:
• Youngers: Leena Albinali, Ellis Kopcho, Angel Song, Petra Stevens
• Olders: Benjamin Al-Mateen, Debra Levin, Shameem Syed