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As colleagues from different generations (x and millennial), Marci Alboher and Duncan Magidson have been leading talks and workshops sharing their insights about working across generations. As they plan, they usually text furiously, sharing ideas and reflections. Here’s a peek into what those text convos look like. In this edition of Overheard, sparked by SNL’s 50th anniversary, they dive into generational humor, age-related sensitivities, and, of course, the power of a good joke.

Marci Alboher (CoGenerate Chief Connections Officer): It’s been WAY too long since we’ve done an Overheard, and something’s been on my mind after the SNL 50th Anniversary about which I was kind of obsessed. Did you watch it? If not, I fear we won’t be able to discuss!

Duncan Magidson (CoGenerate Director of Digital Communications & Engagement): I haven’t watched the whole special, but I was just watching this clip:

Marci: YES! I loved so much about this opening. I love the way they introduce each other (something we do in our talks!) and I think their opening joke was spot on. Paul Simon introduces the song, Homeward Bound, saying that he performed it during SNL’s first season (1975) with George Harrison. To which Sabrina Carpenter replies “I wasn’t born then…and neither were my parents!” I guess this would be the time to admit that I’d never heard of Sabrina Carpenter before that moment. Oy.

Duncan: I think it’s fascinating that their intros mirror the way we like to introduce each other when we speak as a pair. I wonder if there’s something uniquely cogenerational about that practice—or if it’s just nice. I find those moments always help show our friendship and offer a moment to observe something new about the other person, which is such a great practice on or off stage.

But I feel like that’s a tangent — I’m really curious to hear what about this got you so excited.

Marci: Actually, the thing I wanted to dig into was the humor! I don’t think we have enough of it when we talk about age and generational differences. Laughing is the best way to diffuse tensions, yet so often I feel like we censor ourselves because we don’t want to seem ageist. For example, I know I’ll get in trouble with this from some of my friends but I find the Progressive Insurance ads mocking millennials turning into their boomer parents hysterical (This one in particular kills me as my 65-year-old husband is beyond obsessed with the weather forecast. I tease him every time the commercial comes on.)

Duncan: The one that really gets me is the joke about reading books about submarines. I think that’s so specific to a certain kind of dad. In a way, it’s kind of breaking down generational stereotypes! The differences that seem so huge as a teenager drop away, and have so much more to do with life stage than the era you were born into.

In general, I think we’re in a huge era for generation based humor – I’m constantly seeing Tweets and videos contrasting generational reactions to different news/events (more and more frequently including Gen Alpha).

Marci: SO true. Do you feel like you censor yourself sometimes to avoid offending?

Duncan: Definitely YES! Just given my job, I feel a certain responsibility to be the sober, ageism conscious guy in the room. And I think that’s mostly a good thing. But it’s problematic when that turns me into a scold or keeps me from identifying real generational trends that connect with the way people see themselves and their friends.

We talk a lot about perennials – people who see themselves as outside of generations, but people can also take a lot of pride in their generation and these jokes can sometimes tap into people’s pride about their age.

I don’t think Paul Simon was embarrassed to be older than Sabrina Carpenter – even though that joke emphasized their difference, it actually brought them together.

Marci: +1 to all of this. And while I know the power of language, I don’t like when those of us working on ageism fixate on the words we can / can’t use, or the jokes we shouldn’t tell. It’s one thing to design hiring practices that weed out older or younger people. But when it’s not safe to send a retro card that teases a friend who’s turning 39 on repeat, I’m not sure we’re helping our movement. 

Duncan: I think it’s all about meeting people where they are. When I talk to people about my vegan diet, it’s SUPER common for people to respond with jokes about how they would be vegan too, but they could never give up cheese, or how they also went vegan once for a week, or how they only eat vegan animals. I have this inner scold who wants to tell them it’s not as hard as they think, to lecture them about making more of an effort or to tell them that cheese is stupid and unnecessary. BUT I don’t think that’s the right approach. So many people are trying to reduce their meat consumption and I try to applaud that. If everyone took up Meatless Mondays, that would blow the combined impact of every vegan out of the water. Which is just to say that not everyone is all-in on cogeneration (yet) – and that’s ok! Our job as movement leaders is to build a pathway for people to see the benefits of cross generational collaboration, and so often in ways that are NOT perfect.

(I know I’m going too long! I always do that in these threads!!)

Marci: Who says texts need to be abbreviated and snappy! So I guess we are concurring here (as we most often do). Here’s to more humor and irreverence, more changing the vibe through music and pop culture, fewer screeds, and  focusing on how good vegetables taste…especially when you go to the kind of vegan places you’ve been taking me too, like Spicy Moon. Nothing overly righteous-feeling or sober about that place.

Read our previous installments of Overheard on Text.